I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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