hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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