I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
