Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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