apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize