whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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