No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
