hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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