Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
