So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
