Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
