My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
