I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
