there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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