You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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