Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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