I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
