dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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