Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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