It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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