He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
