Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
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you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
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Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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