She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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