I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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