i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize