margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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