So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
