I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's blow job season.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
