Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
