Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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