How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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