Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
