The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
