im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
