It's Friday. Sex?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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