dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
