does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
