Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
