okay pat passed out under dana's car
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style