At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
