Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!