She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends