so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar