Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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