we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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