called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
