the day after is always just damage control
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
