If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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