this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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