you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
