im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
