It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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