He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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