My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he shaved USA in his pubs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
we should paint friendship bongs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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