she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize