After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
