I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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