her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
