yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
