I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
