Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
