We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
