Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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