You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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