I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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