He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
